Tuesday, April 7, 2009

給自己的情歌: life goes on



離開喧嘩的城市 這闕歌襯托出色往事
琴聲天天呼喚我 邊唱邊走照哼Re Do La
雪白變得淡黃 那是晚空月光 從簡單中看迷茫

同行在這客套城堡 有喜總有悲 人海中飄泊
徘徊在這狹窄長梯 有高總有低 如不懂心計 能珍惜一切

回家一刻哼著唱 經典金曲掛口邊細嚐
如果一天失落了 傷過的他更懂得快樂
雪白變得淡黃 那是晚空月光 來簡單的向前看

同行在這客套城堡 有喜總有悲 人海中飄泊
徘徊在這狹窄長梯 有高總有低 如不懂心計 能得到更多

留在這客套城堡 有悲總有喜 人不要自危
隨時代走眼淚換這雙手 再辛苦也好 亦不要淡忘 前景多好看

不要淡忘

Pressure. Murmur. Pray

A mistake not properly handled will escalate until it becomes out of your control.





If W is still with me, I know that I will not make the mistake.





Could I say that, ultimately, my love to Z may costs my job? (I know I should not have this as it carries no logical link.)





Worse, the mistake may result in a long run effect on some people’s rice bowls.





I always say that, I only need a few bucks to feed myself, and luckily mom and dad don’t need my money. This implies freedom, in some sense.





I can say that, it is the best I can do when I had been experiencing the dark age in my life, which consists of a double dose of sorrow of breaking-up, the eternal departure of the lady who bring me up, the change of status of my beloved sister, the serious illness of my dad, and a write-off of the work done for a whole month. It is God’s grace that I am still standing here.





But I know that what I lack is not the analytical power, language ability or the inter-personal skills. It is the insufficient understanding of how high stake is my job. And also the lack of the persistence to get the job done, even if it implies a lot of confrontation and debate with people from different positions. Being carried away by the less important tasks, I fail to concentrate on what matter most. Attitude towards the core business matters most.





I should salute to my colleagues: how can you guys survive in such a pressure cooker? How many sleepless nights you are having in a year?





Heartfelt thanks for the kindness of my friends and colleagues. I know that I have tons of friends, genuine friends who care about me. I cannot imagine life without them.





I recall the only time I see Z crying in front of me. My empathy to her, at that moment, is only superficial. Now I have in-depth understanding. May be more that that.





W is mostly correct on my personality. Some patterns are repetitive.





My bottom line is, if it costs me so much already, I will not let the guilty feeling to beat me. I still have important tasks to do.





My lord will not ask me bearing a cross that I am not capable of. Please lead my way.