Love, is to embrace the life already broken in to pieces

7 years ago...

was the worst of time

as I had finished an 8-year-old-relationship



it was the best of time

as I was closest to God

as I was bravest in facing myself

and he sent an angel into my life



W, a girl lighten up my life

a girl who liked a poorest child

who was desperate about life

and I was the one who was willing and able to give

almost without reservation




I should say that these 7 years

painted my life with colour

We had tried many things

gone to many places

taken many photos

written many words

spent many days and nights

experienced many laughers and tears




My heart is roaring

I am not the kid 7 years ago

I have learnt to resist temptation in my daily life

I have tried every means to nurture our intimacy

our passion, and our daily living

to let our love to flow between us like a river

until I started building a wall to hide myself

to block God outside my heart

and ultimately blocked my power to love

and lost my connection with W

the colour of our love fades





I am not blaming W or myself

for the drying of the river of love

life is too tough in these year

and we are too childish

and forget to nurture ourselves

and also our relationship







My heart is in a thunderstorm

But at the same time

I am very calm and peaceful

There is a pair of eyes looking at me

And a voice whispering that

“Your homework is not perfect

But you don’t fail either




W has her limitation and her own homework

Your gentle heart and love is appreciated

so as your honesty to yourself and to W

Your decisiveness is a breakthrough

Your are training up yourself to shoulder the passion of life

and the mission of life

of yourself, and for yourself




Your finally realize that

You cannot be in a tide without a standpoint

As the tide will crush your life, your heart and the ones you love most

and you need to realize that

you cannot find the standpoint outside God

And most importantly

You cannot stand still without your will power

Or in a most realistic way, without a habit

that nurture your life towards God”



I am perfectly clear that

I have to be an anchor

for myself, and for my beloved ones




I really have changed

like what W has changed

W is God’s angel telling that

I have the power and skills to love

the genuine love beyond

passion and sex drive and the need of attachment




I have learnt the healing of love

With that I can face my loneliness

I will remember vividly

There is at least a gal who loves me without reservation

appreciates my tender and care

forgives when I have done wrong





This gives me courage

I am no longer a timid guy

What else should I fear?

Although I am not a toughest one

I will not fail again

Put it in another way

I won’t say sorry to the ones I love any more

as I will try my best to love them

after I have empowered by the love of God.




W, thanks for telling me that these 7 years are

as worthy as it can be

Thanks for telling me that

I am an angel of your life

In fact it is kind of healing

Despite all my giving to others

I seldom think that I am worthy of being loved

But your love embraces me

So that I don’t have fear any longer

I will stand still and fight till I die when challenges come



My life has broken into pieces

But the pain is worth more than gold

And the tears worth more than diamond

As I realize that again

Love is to embrace the life broken into pieces

That is HIS love in the cross